more powerful than a rock-solid case -
[Author’s note: apologies to those new subscribers who were expecting this issue on Monday. I was waylaid by the flu, as were my two children, all while my wife was traveling.
As a bonus, please enjoy our previous week's issue which you may not have seen: Three Myths of Executive Job Search.]
The First 90 Days
Coaching an executive through his first 90 days at a new company is a test of speed, trust, and influence. The window is short, and every conversation can tilt the trajectory: how quickly he learns the lay of the land, how he earns the CEO’s ear, and how he mobilizes a team around high-stakes priorities. We’ve been working with one such Exec and specifically focusing on his influence techniques during this time.
The one thing so effective it stunned him? A disciplined practice of asking targeted questions at the moments that matter most, questions that invite candor, illuminate blind spots, and catalyze real progress.
"the real power of influence lies in the design and delivery of your questions."
Why Questions?
The evidence shows that influential people spend more time asking questions. What makes questions so powerful? It comes down to two features inherent in questioning.
First, questions are low-conflict. Assertions or beliefs, when expressed, can often invite debate or push-back. On the other hand, questions evoke curiosity and self-reflection. Even provocative ideas, when phrased as questions reduce tension. Our exec found this out when he attempted to surface some thoughts he had with a member of the C-Suite. As a statement, the C-Suite Exec immediately countered defensively with an alternate viewpoint. When our exec switched into question mode: immediate reduction in tension. Lesson learned.
Next, questions are far more versatile than most people realize. Most people understand the utility of questioning as a means to elicit facts and information. But few realize that, when well-designed, questions do much more than that.
- They can reveal how someone thinks about an issue. (A favorite of ours is “What do you think the critical success factors are to enable… [issue]?” - the answer surfaces critical narratives)
- They can build tension. (asking for information in an area when you know there may be little in the answer serves to create awareness of a deficit - without generating defensiveness)
- They can even provocatively halt a thought process. (For example asking "How do you balance [facet A] and [facet B] of [an issue]?”, when A is well-understood, but B is not, will often cause the listener to pause and reflect. Often, it engenders a "that's a good question” response while the answerer searches for her response.)
- and more...
And all of these things can be done, without raising the level of conflict or defensiveness and keeping the listener in a state of self-reflection.
In fact, so powerful are questions, that we advocate that exec's stay in question-only mode up until the very last moment in an influencing discussion. Those that do, often see next-level results in the receptivity toward their ideas.
We were taught that influence is in how good a case we make, yet the real power of influence lies in the design and delivery of your questions.
Actioning the Insight
Now, it’s not the case that every question will be successful. There are certainly questions that can come off as accusatory or cause defensiveness - the often-used “why” question is a good example. But we think that good question design is a highly-underrated influencing skill.
To get started, try out these two approaches the next time you’re with a superior.
First, pay attention to the amount of questioning you do, and try to increase it. Even when your opinion might be solicited, use the chance to ask a few more questions before giving it. e.g. “I’ve got some ideas, but I wonder if I might ask a couple more questions.”
Second, start attempting to ask questions that do more than seek facts; then observe the effects. I’ve given two great question scripts above, which are not fact-gathering. For instance instead of saying “I think we’re forgetting about [facet B].” try asking the “How do you balance A and B?” question.
In both of these activities, pay attention to people’s tension level and receptivity to being asked as compared to a similar idea stated as a statement.
You’ll be amazed at the result! Happy influencing!
Until next week,
